The copywriter’s dictionary
- Copy that fails to make the reader believe.
- Copy that bears a striking similarity to that of a competitor.
- An over-punctuated piece of copy.
- Copy that is firmly up its own behind.
- Copywriter-strength coffee. As in: “I probably shouldn’t have had two coppees; I think I can see through time”.
- Copy so badly kerned that it appears to have a different meaning from that which was intended.
- A copywriter who puts an abrupt end to any request for a cat-related social media campaign.
- Use of a copywriting cliché. As in: “I can’t believe this company describes itself as ‘innovative’ – what a copy-out”.
- Copy characterised by vulgar or scatological references.
- A compulsive preference for copy that states the flaming obvious. Highly prevalent in the automotive industry.
- The result of sabotaging copy to thwart someone else’s achievement. As in: “I wasn’t prepared to let my art director get his way, so I had to opt for a copyrrhic victory”.
- Copy written after consuming a cheap bottle of wine. Appears to be extraordinarily clever and witty at the time of writing but induces a sense of shame the following day.
- Copy so unremarkable that it gets mistaken for the slug on a print proof.
- Jargon-riddled copy intended to make the reader think “this company is too smart to bother with making this comprehensible”.
- Copy based on an obscure 1980s pop-culture reference, which therefore appeals only to the writer’s generation.
- Copy that’s delicious, on the proviso that you don’t look at it too closely.
- Extremely dry copy that sucks all the interest out of a piece of communication. Often related to insurance products.
Connect with me on Google+ at +Ryan Wallman
For more silliness and irreverence, try:
- Clive the client in ‘Social skills’
- The 8½ worst copy mistakes you can make
- A breakthrough in the science of branding