The copywriter’s dictionary

Agnosticopy

• Copy that fails to make the reader believe.

Carbon copy

• Copy that bears a striking similarity to that of a competitor.

Colonoscopy

1. An over-punctuated piece of copy.
2. Copy that is firmly up its own behind.

Coppee

• Copywriter-strength coffee. As in: “I probably shouldn’t have had two coppees; I think I can see through time”.

Coptical illusion

• Copy so badly kerned that it appears to have a different meaning from that which was intended.

Copycat killer

• A copywriter who puts an abrupt end to any request for a cat-related social media campaign.

Copy-out

• Use of a copywriting cliché. As in: “I can’t believe this company describes itself as ‘innovative’ – what a copy-out”.

Copyrolalia

• Copy characterised by vulgar or scatological references.

Copyromania

• A compulsive preference for copy that states the flaming obvious. Highly prevalent in the automotive industry.

Copyrrhic victory

• The result of sabotaging copy to thwart someone else’s achievement. As in: “I wasn’t prepared to let my art director get his way, so I had to opt for a copyrrhic victory”.

Lambruscopy

• Copy written after consuming a cheap bottle of wine. Appears to be extraordinarily clever and witty at the time of writing but induces a sense of shame the following day.

Molluscopy

• Copy so unremarkable that it gets mistaken for the slug on a print proof.

Obfuscopy

• Jargon-riddled copy intended to make the reader think “this company is too smart to bother with making this comprehensible”.

Orinocopy

• Copy based on an obscure 1980s pop-culture reference, which therefore appeals only to the writer’s generation.

Osso buccopy

• Copy that’s delicious, on the proviso that you don’t look at it too closely.

Talcopy

• Extremely dry copy that sucks all the interest out of a piece of communication. Often related to insurance products.

For more silliness and irreverence, try:

• Clive the client in ‘Social skills’
• The 8½ worst copy mistakes you can make
• A breakthrough in the science of branding

‘Copy Copy Copy’ image by David Goehring, courtesy of Flickr Creative Commons under a CC BY 2.0 licence.